“Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.”
~Barbara De Angelis
Are you living with integrity? Maybe you consider yourself a person of integrity, but are finding the practice described in this quote difficult. It’s certainly been a difficult practice for me. I naturally adapt to my environment. I like to create harmony. I like to make others happy. This makes it hard to speak up or make choices when it goes against what others want or believe in.
However, while I believe that it is vital to live in line with our personal values, there is importance in harmony as well. But how can we be ok with conflict if we value harmony?
What if “conflict” just meant that we have different points of view? That happens all the time. What if we had a choice about how we dealt with those different points of view – through arguments and shouting or through peaceful dialogue and genuine attempts to understand each other? That might help us see conflict in a different light.
And what if speaking your truth and asking for what you want and need would actually bring you closer to others? That might make conflict actually necessary and desirable.
Now this may not work with everybody. Some people may not value what you believe and may not be willing to have reasonable dialogues about it. In that case, maybe it is time to find people who do.
Manuela loves helping professional women bring more balance, happiness and success into their lives! Visit Manuela’s Website for Professional Life Coaching and check our her upcoming “Fall in Love with Your Life in 2014” workshop!