Last week I was at the WITI (Women in Technology International) Summit in San Jose, leading coaching circles with professional women who work in technology. It was an engaged group and everyone I talked to wanted their next role to feel fulfilling and meaningful: some were focused on the opportunity for learning, others were looking for a challenge or more impact. However, none of them had made a change yet.
When I asked them what was keeping them from either discovering their ideal role or getting to the next level role, I heard a variety of reasons: There was a feeling of overload and lack of time, not knowing what the path they needed to take looked like, lack of confidence and a variety of fears (fear of failure, fear of commitment, fear of making mistakes, fear of not making enough money if they left their current job, fear of leaving what’s comfortable etc.)
While at first glance these may look like all sorts of different reasons, when we dug deeper, everyone realized that these reasons weren’t facts. Instead, they were all beliefs based on fear and doubt. They were all the voice of our saboteurs/inner critics.
Our saboteurs have good intentions. They want to keep us safe, so they try to ensure that we won’t take any risks that have us step outside of our comfort zone where there is a chance of feeling uncomfortable, making a mistake, or potentially failing. Unfortunately by doing that, they also keep us from trying something new, learning, growing, and pursuing what we really want.
The number one thing that is keeping us from creating a career we love is not a lack of knowledge, lack of capability or lack of time. It is the voice of our saboteur, filled with fears and doubts that often sounds critical and judgmental.
How do we overcome our saboteur? The great news is that we all have access to another voice, who also wants the best for us, but is rooted in kindness and compassion. A voice that knows what is possible and is motivating, positive and inspirational. I call that voice our “sage” or “champion.”
A quick way to access that voice is to ask: “What would I tell my best friend in this situation?” (Or if you have children, “What would I tell my son or daughter in this situation?”)
Let’s say you want to make a change in your career and your saboteur is listing all sort of concerns about the potential risks. What would you tell your best friend? Maybe you would tell them that they deserve to be happy. Or that they are very capable and that you believe in them. Or that there are many opportunities out there – and there is one for them as well.
Do you feel the difference in energy between the sage/champion and saboteur? The saboteur will stop us from even trying to take action. The sage/champion will encourage us to consider the possibility, to explore the options, and to take a step in the direction of what you truly want.
Creating a career you love starts with getting out of your own way. And that simply begins with listening to your champion instead of your saboteur. Are you ready to listen to your champion?
Manuela helps heart-centered professionals who feel stuck or unhappy discover a career they love. Download her free e-guide: “5 Massive Mistakes Even Smart Professionals Make That Keep Them From Creating a Career They Love”