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When you talk to yourself, are you being hard on yourself, pointing out flaws and mistakes, or are you kind and uplifting to yourself, giving yourself kudos for what you did well?
Many of us are very hard on ourselves. That’s the voice of our Internal Judge, our Inner Critic. 👩⚖️ We have many different Saboteurs that all sabotage us, but the Internal Judge is the main one. And as the name suggests, our judge can be very judgmental and critical. We sometimes direct this judgment or criticism against ourselves, where we are very self-critical, or against others, where we are very critical of other people, or at the situation that we find ourselves in.
The Judge says things along the lines of you are not good enough, you could have done this better, finding ways to criticize whatever you have done. Or it believes that others are not good enough and finds ways to criticize what others have done.
Sometimes our Judge is very strong and obvious and sometimes s/he is subtle.
This past weekend I decided that I was going to really take time to relax. I knew that I needed some downtime after spending the weeks before creating a new course.
After the weekend was over, I thought back on the weekend and I wasn’t feeling satisfied. I had spent a lot of time watching TV and playing games on my phone. As I was thinking about it, I realized that it was my Internal Judge who was evaluating this weekend.
Since we are still sheltering in place, we couldn’t go anywhere for the weekend. My Internal Judge was judging the situation that we were in. She argued that going somewhere was “better” than staying at home and wasn’t satisfied. She was also judging my activities. Watching mindless TV and playing games were “a waste of time” in her view. As a result, she was judging me as unmotivated and unproductive.
But we all have the voice of our Internal Champion as well. 👸 Our Internal Champion wants the best for us and is very positive, encouraging, inspiring, motivating, very kind and compassionate, sort of like a best friend.
What did my Internal Champion tell me about my weekend? My Champion acknowledged me for researching different recipes and trying out a new one. She gave me kudos for looking up some online courses I could take for fun, practicing piano for a bit, and reading a book I felt inspired to read that gave me some new ideas. And she gave me kudos for relaxing, lying in the sun outside and observing the birds. What was my goal for the weekend? It was to relax. And I did! So my Champion declares my weekend a success.
If we don’t pay attention, our Judge tends to take over. As human beings we are wired towards negativity, so it takes extra effort to be positive. But by being more aware and actively connecting to our Champion, we can empower ourselves and be happier.
What is your Champion telling you? What is your Champion acknowledging you for this week? ❤️
Manuela helps heart-centered professionals create a career and life they love. Contact her for a free 45 minute Career and Life Strategy session. Get more information on Manuela’s Website.